consistency

good idea.

working on it.

habits.

climb.

good.

some progress.

counting days.

Want to read...

Mr Pip (have in hand queued for next)
For Esme – With Love and Squalor, by J.D. Salinger.
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain.
The Crimson Petal and the White, by Michel Faber.
Le Grand Meaulnes, by Alain Fornier.
The Makioka Sisters, by Junichiro Tanizaki.

books

Yes, I realize the admission that I FEEL I am not my own captain can be debated.

Well, fuck you. Feelings can and often do define reality.

On to books... (this list will have to evolve over time, like I can even begin to remember them all off the top of my head... muchless the content of all? oy vey.)

Have read:

Cloud Atlas
*An amazing romp through historical, mystery, film noire, sci-fi, and back again. Brilliant.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
*Book club pick. Easy read, and from the unusual POV of an Asperger's Boy.
The Pleasure of My Company
*Written by Steve Martin. Quite possibly the central character does have Asperger's Syndrome. Not the laugh out lout funny the cover promises. I snorted-ish, twice.
The Reader
*Book club, lucky dip gift. Historical, sexy, sad, angry, amazing. Read it.
Tender Morsels
*Random pick of my own at bookstore... secretly pleased Gaiman liked it so. Fantastic adult fantasy if you can get past the jarring beginning plot points.
Life of Pi
*Wow. Such a page turner. Well done, unusual. A mystery. A coming of age. A fantasy. Brilliant.
Water for Elephants
*Fantastic novel. Quick paced and easy to read. Introduces a period of time we have all heard of, but few still know folk with REAL memories (Depression in USA). Very well done, a great read.
Atlas Shrugged
*Read in high school and remember as long, but so worth it. Should reread.
Live, Love, Eat
Discomfort Zone
The Sparrow
The Things We Carried
Confederacy of Dunces

Piers Anthony -
Xanth series through book #13; Isle of You

a straw

Something must provide me a positive outlet. Feedback, perhaps at some point.

Just a place to solidly focus on good would do for now.

There are so many things wrong with my life in the past year or so... Fred moving here was supposed to be amazing and happy for both of us. A shuffling off of the past and a happy dive forward.

He has, due to circumstance and personality, only become more and more angry over time. Or I may be sensitized. Either way, it's painful. My life is painful. There are so many good things to celebrate, and not a single damn solitary place to turn for a moment of breath and thankfulness.

I ache to be my own captain. Sink or float, even... I think. This sort of 'dare' to fate does scare me though. Such an ocd child. sigh

A good place to start may be lists... I love lists.

Lists of have done and want to... yes?

Great.

Let's dive in.